Days 39 & 40: Company? Yes, please.

I have always been a fairly independent sort. I can do and often choose to do a lot of things by myself. I shop by myself, take myself to the movies, check out museums alone. And while I may have lived with my parents through college (and maybe the 2 years that followed...), once I made my big move out, I've always chosen to live alone. I've learned to hang my own pictures, move my own furniture and once even fix my own toilet, and I'm proud to say I can do those things. Plus, I generally like my own company and the freedom of doing what I please and no one around to worry about bothering...or be bothered by. If I want to watch the 4 hour BBC version of Pride & Prejudice in my purple Eeyore pjs or clean my apartment while pretending I'm the 4th singer on Destiny's Child's Survivor album, or spend 20 minutes picking at my pores while sitting on the bathroom sink ledge, that's my own business. I can also get ready at 2 a.m. with all the lights on, leave things out because no one will trip on them, shower with the door open, never put make up on, burp, fart, blow my nose, really the list goes on, because again, it's just me.

But lately, *sigh* lately, the alone time has become more like lonely time. And, the thought of having company perks me up more than I'd ever thought possible. My friend Sarah jokes about "living" at my apartment on the weekends, but the truth is, I feel fulfilled when she's here and sad when she leaves. She and our friend Christina were here all Sunday, and despite my massive hangover, not to mention my inability to move from the fetal position on the floor, I loved every second of their company. Then there was the sporadic weekday sleepover with my friend Kiersten which has pretty much made my week. I feel this yearning for companionship, just the knowing that someone is sharing my space, my little world for awhile, even if we're not speaking or are sleeping in different rooms. My mom used to say she hated the quiet and liked knowing me and my brother were in the house and she wasn't alone. I could never understand feeling that way until now. I always liked the quiet, but suddenly it's too quiet.

Is this just another way I'm changing as I get older? I can almost feel the things I once considered priorities altering, and my "alone" time seems less important by the day. So, until I can figure out just WHAT I want, I hope my friends are in the mood for some good ol' QT. And, this is an open invitation to you lovely people, feel free to visit! (I promise I'll store my neat freak ways up on the shelf...)