Day 27: French fries make everything better...usually

Hot. Greasy. Salty. Crispy. I've just described the perfect french fry, the ultimate cure to life's problems.

First, the hangover. There is nothing, NOTHING, like an order of hot, tasty french fries to cure a hangover. Granted, you have to get past the queasy, can't keep anything down phase, but once you're to the point of being able to eat again, get yourself to a McDonalds. There's nothing wrong with adding some chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger to those fries either...

Second, drunk food. Waaaay before the hangover, when you're in a fluffy state of lovely tipsiness, french fries always hit the spot when you suddenly find yourself ravenous. They are especially delicious mashed in with macaroni salad underneath cheesburger patties, onions and hot sauce a.k.a, the garbage plate, a Rochester specialty. Beware, eat them slowly and only after you've stopped drinking...they are not fun to see again on their way back up.

Finally, depression, heartbreak, sadness, frustration, disappointment or an all around bad day. I don't turn to alcohol, or drugs, or daring extracurriculars. I drown my sorrows in french fries. I seek out the golden arches and feel my heart lift a little when the red box of deep fried goodness is passed through the drive-thru window. And, when you've worked your way to the bottom, likely in mere minutes despite trying to pace yourself, be sure to double check the take out bag. The stray one or two that linger in the bottom are like a balm to the soul.

So, thank you french fries for being my constant. My hug without arms, my band-aid without sticking to arm hair, my hangover subsider, and my long overdue smile. You may not be the cure to life's problems, but you go a long way to making things seem a little better.