Day 29: It's okay to lean on people

You don't expect the outpouring of support, but suddenly depend on it. It's like a balm to a wound, a pat on the back, a hug you don't want but now crave. It really sucks to have the carpet pulled out from under you, to beat yourself up over what you could have done to change it, to analyze and analyze again where you thought wrong and got your signals wrong. You tell the stories over and over, in your head and to the people around you. You sound like a broken record and contstantly press for their opinion, their take on the situation. All you want is for people to tell you you're not crazy, you didn't do anything wrong. And when they do, when they go beyond that and tell you you've made the right decision, that there's nothing wrong in following your heart and you're going to come out on top, when they pick up the phone in the middle of the day at work to listen to you pour out your heart, when they call you at the end of their day to listen to you tell the story again and soothe your worries, or check on you on their scrambled way to work, when they send you a random text message or note of support and love, it all comes together to help get you through. The unexpected words of support, or the jokes to make you smile, to laugh when you really don't feel like it, those help, too, more than you know. No one likes to admit they're down, that they're weak and don't feel like they can get through a day without being sad or sulking, but realizing the people around you are willing to let you grab a shoulder, lend an ear or offer a hug gives you the boost you need to pick yourself up. It's going to get better, it will. At least, that's what they keep telling me...