I'm lying in bed, starting to doze, when I realize my closet door is not completely shut. Instead of letting it go, I actually have a debate in my head about ignoring it or getting up to shut it. So I finally I get up and shut it. And then I can't fall asleep again.
I have this urge to make sure things are in their place. Hence the door having to be shut. Or the drawer completely closed. Or the remotes on the coffee table, the deodorant on the shelf, the toothpaste back in the cabinet, I could go on for days. This also translates into a bit of a neat-freakness. I wipe the sink out after I use it, I do the dishes immediately after cooking, papers and books go in stacks, blankets get folded and I always, ALWAYS, make my bed before I leave the house. I was never this way growing up, and I can't really explain where this touch of OCDness comes from. I know some of it comes from my mom, who was always very organized and clean when we were kids, but she relaxed a bit as we got older. I get especially crazy when people come to visit. While I LOVE the company (always welcomed after so much alone time!), the invasion of my space starts to make me itch. Clothes, cell phones, keys left around the apartment, the towel in the bathroom not folded properly, dishes lingering on the counter, I have to force myself to try and relax, let it go. I feel like because it's my space, my stuff, it's hard for me to let in a disruption, even if it's on my part...ahem, the closet door. But, it's annoying to myself, my friends and family that I turn into a tense neatfreak. Really Lindsey, it's not the end of the world if you let the sink stay wet or leave clothes on the bed, or leave the door open. So, I'm going to work on taking a breath, realizing I can shut the door in the morning and enjoying my downtime, whether it be alone with a book or in the company of loved ones, because at the end of the day, it's the time that really matters, not the fact that I can see my clothes hanging in my closet.
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