Sunday, April 10, 2011

Day 268-269: A very lonely weekend!

Friday night plans were a bust, so I went to sleep. Saturday I pretty much cleaned the entire apartment, INCLUDING organizing my underwear and sock drawer and clearing out my closet...and it was only 4 p.m. I got in touch with my lady friends about meeting up with them at their house, but lets just say they were a bit partied out by the time I got there and I headed home not long after to hit the sack again. Then today, with nothing left to clean and no one to talk to, I sort of sulked/watched movies. Through it all, there was a sense of loneliness... Looks like I've gotten a bit used to having Mr. O. around and my weekends just feel wrong when he's not here! After so many years of playing the independent life, part of me relishes this feeling and another part of me fears it. What if I start to rely on it too much and it's all pulled out from under me? I realize this is asking a lot of life, to tell me what's going to happen. As the man in question tells me, I think too much and I just need to shut my brain off. So here goes, I'm going to TRY and live a bit more in the moment, just enjoy what's going on now and not worry so much about what COULD happen. Because I feel like I could miss a lot of good things right now if I focus on what hasn't even happened yet...

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