Not only am I right back in central PA, but I'm right back in the producer seat again. I filled in for one of the producers who was off, and as much as it can be like riding a bike, after not producing for awhile, it takes a bit to get back in the groove. Don't get me wrong, I can get a show on the air, no problem. But, I always go in with the best intentions of a creative, smooth and well thought out show. But an hour or so in, and I lose my steam. That was the case today...
I started out with all these great ideas, things I've wanted to adapt into the shows for awhile, we just haven't had the resources or time. Why I think I can accomplish this myself in one day, I don't know...but, I just know I want to do it! But, then today, about 4:30, I'm falling into shortcuts. It suddenly became so overwhelming and I got the panic that I was not going to finish in time! So, my goal then becomes a polished, finished show, which I did, but it was definitely not smooth. Things fell apart and I had to make split second decisions and changes to avoid the doom that is "coming out to black," all of which I did successfully. But, sometimes I feel the thrill, the excitement of it fade... It's more of a stress that gets me so anxious, I want to get up and not come back. This makes me nervous that this career I've chosen, that I've worked to make myself good at is, at the end of the day, not the career for me. What is it I would try to do next?? Yikes. Deep breath, tomorrow's another day. I'm coming back with a clear head and taking another stab at it!
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