At least not yet anyway. Definitely not yet. After spending about an hour with my friend Chad's 4 nieces and nephew, I was more than ready to be on my way, getting on with my own life and not worrying about anyone else but me. Don't get me wrong, they're all adorable, each with a distinct personality, and alot of fun to hang out with. But, I'm not at a point where I want to be unendingly responsible for another human being. Chad's poor sister (mother of 3 of the 5) kept sitting down to eat dinner, only to jump up a minute later to fill a drink, scoop out more corn or soothe a crier. And, the running! Everywhere they went was by sprint. I was sitting amid a contstant flurry of running, yelling, crying children, just feeling the anxiety build up. If the circumstances were different, if I was in another place in my life, maybe settled, in a relationship, and faced with motherhood, I know I could step up to the plate. But, I'm not right now, and I think I'm okay with that. I'm not knocking mothers, I absolutely want to be one some day, but there's more I want to do for me before I make that commitment. Is that selfish or smart?
All I can say is time flies and before you know it you could be me-knowing that kids are still what you want but you're still nowhere near being in the position to have them and all you see is the clock ticking away...tick tick TICK. Sometimes I think god is f*ing with me. Purposely shoving anything that has to do with babies right in my face on a daily basis. However, if there's more you want to do for you then I say that's smart, not selfish. And when you meet that someone (and you will) that you know you want to make up the other half of the person your kid will be, it'll be the perfect time. Sounds good doesn't it? That's what I keep telling myself anyway.
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