Day 145: Down and out

Talk about a crap day. I just feel like crap. Nothing seemed to go right, and it in turn just makes me feel bad about myself. Okay, so maybe it's that "time" of the month, when my emotions run extra high and instead of getting pissy or mad I get introspective and sad. But when I take a good look at my life, mainly my job and where it's put me, I'm just down and out about the whole thing. I've lost my ambition to strive at work and that makes me angry. I don't like not giving my all, or doing the best job I can, but I honestly don't seem to have it in me to try anymore and this just makes me sad. It's carrying over into the rest of my life and I don't like it. I even went shopping after work to pick up my spirits and it just made me feel worse. I'm working this job that pays me nothing and I can't afford anything and why even buy anything to make me happy when I'm so unhappy? F-ed up reasoning, but that's what you get when you're trying to justify feeling miserable. I'm so over it and I need to make a change...I'm just stuck in the "how" part. Help.