Day 272: I take it ALLLLL back. :)

I'm such a sucker. I fell for the whole thing. THIS is what was waiting for me when I got home from work today. Well, these and Mr. O.! He really got me good, making me believe it was completely out of the question to make a Lancaster visit. And what do I walk into? Flowers, music, even muffins and bagels for breakfast! I can't help but smile every time I think of the effort he put into surprising me. Did I mention the watermelon gum? How well does this guy know me? What can I say, I'm a very lucky girl, and I'm sorry Mr. O. for ever doubting you. :) Thank you for a lovely, LOVELY surprise!

Day 270-271: I know I'm wrong, but I can't help how I feel!

Two and a half weeks. That's how long ago I last saw the BF. I can't help it, but it feels CRAZY long! I was gone the first weekend, and this past weekend was his big golf trip. It was so cute how excited he was for it and he so deserved some R & R, I just wish the weekends weren't back to back! Anyway, I'm sucking it up, cuz I know I'll see him in just a few more days...however, I have to say I'm a little irked. When he mentioned how he was going to spend the last few days of his vacation just chilling at home, I merely suggested he come here to do it, therefore spending some time with me. The words were barely out of my mouth before he shot the suggestion down. WTF? I didn't DEMAND he come here, and while I know it was me being selfish because of how badly I wanted to see him, I don't think it was that far into left field to make the suggestion. I KNOW the weekend's only a few more days away, and I can see the reason of not making the drive out here now only to turn around and do it again a few days later. Not to mention I have to work, which wouldn't be all that much fun for him...but, I can't help but feel a little hurt. Good grief, listen to me...suck it up, Linds. Stop being so freaking sensitive! I'm going to bed...one more day closer to the weekend.

Day 268-269: A very lonely weekend!

Friday night plans were a bust, so I went to sleep. Saturday I pretty much cleaned the entire apartment, INCLUDING organizing my underwear and sock drawer and clearing out my closet...and it was only 4 p.m. I got in touch with my lady friends about meeting up with them at their house, but lets just say they were a bit partied out by the time I got there and I headed home not long after to hit the sack again. Then today, with nothing left to clean and no one to talk to, I sort of sulked/watched movies. Through it all, there was a sense of loneliness... Looks like I've gotten a bit used to having Mr. O. around and my weekends just feel wrong when he's not here! After so many years of playing the independent life, part of me relishes this feeling and another part of me fears it. What if I start to rely on it too much and it's all pulled out from under me? I realize this is asking a lot of life, to tell me what's going to happen. As the man in question tells me, I think too much and I just need to shut my brain off. So here goes, I'm going to TRY and live a bit more in the moment, just enjoy what's going on now and not worry so much about what COULD happen. Because I feel like I could miss a lot of good things right now if I focus on what hasn't even happened yet...

Day 267: Tired of being THAT broke...

So I'm back from vacay...and broker than ever. And it was even a trip where I spent little to no money! I've got another weekend away from the boy and I was hoping to get in some serious girl time with a few foxy ladies I haven't seen in FOREVER! So I chat them up, find out there's some plans for going out tonight and Saturday...things are looking promising! Until...I come home to pay my bills. Between the increase in my rent and my newly jacked up cable bill I pretty much need to file for food stamps. Seriously, this is not just depressing, but embarrassing! I had to bow out of any plans tonight because I simply can't afford to go. While I recognize this as an adult and responsible decision...it doesn't suck any less. I've been complaining about this for years and so far during this 365 to thirty, things haven't gotten any better. I'm starting to think I need to make a few more adult decisions and make a change... Stay tuned.

Days 257-266: A little mom time, a little reunion, a little R&R, even a little white stuff...

So no palm trees, or white sandy beaches this year. My annual trip to Florida with Grams was a no go, but my poor mom is undergoing surgery 2 of 3, so I took off the week to head home and help out...plus get in some serious QT with my lovely mother. :) No worries, the surgery (which was to help with her carpal tunnel) went fine, the woman is the strongest person I know! The hardest part of this trip is getting her NOT to do stuff, she's so stubborn! (hmmm...maybe that's where I get it from??)

Of course, no trip home is complete without some Chad/Ilona/Heather time! I got in an overnight with the Chad, then got a ladies night out (Chad included) with the Ilona and Heather. I know I've said it before, but there's a special bond between people who can pick up where you left off, even if you saw them last several months ago, and who just get you. It's special, and every time I get together with these girls (and Chad!!) I'm reminded of how lucky I am...and how much fun we have together!

And, how can I head to Upstate NY without some B-Lo time with the Grams? I was lucky enough to get in 3 days, where I helped Mom with things around the house, but also got to catch up with Gramma and the doggies. My Chloe never hesitates to recognize me right away and I swear she gets cuter every time I see her. I'll admit to wanting to stick her in my bag and bring her back with me...:) Being that I was in Buffalo, I also had to take advantage of the local cuisine. Can we say Buffalo wings anyone? I had my fill and then some...nothing like comfort food from home!

And, yes, it was April...and it snowed. What can I say? I was secretly thrilled... While my vacation couldn't have been less tropical, the snow was the perfect cap to feeling like I was home.

Day 256: When did I become THAT girl?

Well, crap. I miss him. I can't help it. Let's see, it's been one day since I saw Mr. O.? And there's still, hmmm, I think 18 more to go?! How can I miss him already? I mean, seriously, it's not the end of the world, I'm going to see him soon. But, there's this empty spot inside of me that just feels sad. I just miss him! When did this happen? I've always been an independent sort, a girl who can enjoy her own company. But, now I seem like I count down the time until I see him again. Oh well, I think I'm okay with. Just 17 days and 23 more hours to go.

Day 255: Yeah, I done good.

I don't claim to be a Betty Crocker or a June Cleaver. In fact, my feministic values often have me striving to be the opposite. But, I can't help but get a thrill out of putting a good meal on the table, and seeing other people enjoy my handiwork. There's other things too, like keeping a clean house, ironing a shirt to crispness, wrapping a nice present. But there's just something that makes my inner Rachel Ray soar when I cook a nice dinner. This was my latest creation and it. was. GOOD. Not to mention super easy to put together! We're talking meatloaf and potatoes...plus some asparagus and salad. But, I made the meatloaf with lean beef and added some italian sausage and salsa. I cut up the potatoes and baked them mixed up with some olive oil and french onion soup mix, and baked the asparagus with some olive oil, sea salt and basil (if you haven't tried it this way, do it! Delicious!) As for the salad, it was simply romaine lettuce, with some cut up apples and dried cranberries, some crumbly blue cheese and a blush vinaigrette. Yes, just salad, but TO. DIE. FOR! The best part? It was all done at the same time! No meat sitting getting cold while the potatoes cooked longer... it just seemed to all work out that it was all pulled out of the oven at the same time! I don't like to pat myself on the back, but Mr. O. seemed quite pleased with the end results and his compliments made me feel, this sounds goofy, but like a proud peacock, showing off my pretty feathers. What can I say? Am I an apron wearing June Cleaver who will greet you with a hot dinner on the table and fresh cookies at the door? No. But, will I enjoy cooking a meal that we'll both appreciate? Yes. And, there's nothing wrong with that.